Since I have nobody I can trust and I can talk to I decided to start writing. Somehow I need to get off my feelings.
When I was younger I think I hadn’t a bad life. In fact my mother was always there for me. She was strict but she was a good mother. Now I am nineteen years old and I have never done something really bad. I think this refers to the education of my mother. I’ve never taken drugs and I was only one time drunk. But this was the worst.
I was friends with some of the HCo store I was working in. We went to party every Saturday and it was always fun. Then on 8th july I saw this beautiful Boy. I’ve never seen somebody like him somebody so amazing. I was smiling all the time, just for him in the forlorn hope he would notice me and he did! The next day I wrote my best friend about this evening and I owe it to chance that she knew him.
When I added him he wrote me “You are the one smiling all evening, aren’t you?” I was so happy. I was writing with him and he was super cute. We got to know each other.
We met every saturday in the club everything was so fine. On 6th of july I was in the club again. Unfortunately I had to leave early and since I was sorry about that I gave him a kiss. Straight on his mouth. I don’t know what was riding me but I was afraid about what could happen next. Maybe he thought we were hooking up or something like this. But he wasn’t and he was mad because I thought in this way of him.
On 12th july was my last school day. I was totally happy because this evenings plan was going to club in the City this boy was living.
Me and my best friend went there and when we arrived in the club it was empty. But when we are in club nobody can stop us. We had lots of fun and this was also the first time we first kissed each other. It was so amazing. After club we went to a friend and he was playing Tekken and also kissing me. In front of his best friend. It felt so good. He told me he isn’t doing something like this, kissing girls in clubs taking pictures and so on. So much more I was happy about this all. I slept at his place and it was awesome.
Next days I was at my best friends house and we also went to my boy and the others. So my boy, K, and my best friend, V, planned to go to the beach. It was fun until V decided to meet with a boy and let me alone in a city where I hardly know somebody. So I had to hang out with K and this was completely out of my comfort zone. She promised me going with me in the club. Time with K was quite good but in my head there was V. I was texting her and she asked for just one more hour. I am not a bad friend so I agreed. When I later asked again she asked me to sleep at Ks again. And I did. But I was upset. She was so selfish.
But K and me got nearer. And this wasn’t bad. He was a nice guy and such a good lover. We met a lot and with him I had the best first date I ever had. Actually, it was my first first date. I’ve never had a real date before. We went to the open air cinema and watched ‘Django unchained’. It was such a good evening.
But then there was one of the worst evenings in world. V was at my house and we got the stupid Idea to drink a ‘little bit’ before clubbing but this went out of force. I was drunk. First time in my life. I didn’t knew what I was doing, or I can’t understand what I was doing. We went to BK and on the way I said “We are loving each other but we don’t want to admit.” And after that in club I was ignoring him. I lost a ‘good’ friend who was pulling my skirt so everybody could see my underwear and I hit him. After that I apologized for that and K saw this. He was very angry with me. When I was out of club he ignored me and said I could delete his number. I was writing him and begging him to forgive me.
And he did. The luck was on my side he said I could come to him and everything was good. Saturday he went to holidays.
Wednesday after that I went to holidays and we missed each other a lot. There was something between us, I had a crush on him. And he on me.
Sunday on 18th August we DTRed and became a couple.
But after that holiday there went a lot wrong, too. He took some photographs which weren't okay but me too.
There were such a lot of fights but we loved each other and this was clear.
In October I was one week at his place and he left me his tablet home. I was stupid enough to look through it and one day I saw a notification 'Person XY watched your profile'. It was a dating app. So I looked through it and I saw that he had written 11 pm to two girls. The haven't replied but I was really upset. When I asked him of he had written with some girls he said no. I asked if he wrote with some girls he said no. I asked if he had texted some girls he sweared he didn't. I was so mad that I decided to also break I swear I made, so I went with V to a Club, alone. He found out and he broke up with me. And then the worst time in my life begun.
We didn't came together for like a month but I was still at his place at weekends. He couldn't let me go, but he wanted to. So he slept with to girls I later found out. The worst of this was, that one weekend I was working Friday until 10 pm then went to him and the next day I went to work 10 am to 3 pm and after that I went again to his place. And in this time I wasn't there he slept wit this other girl. It hurt so much. I remember this so often. But we got a couple again.
When I was younger I think I hadn’t a bad life. In fact my mother was always there for me. She was strict but she was a good mother. Now I am nineteen years old and I have never done something really bad. I think this refers to the education of my mother. I’ve never taken drugs and I was only one time drunk. But this was the worst.
I was friends with some of the HCo store I was working in. We went to party every Saturday and it was always fun. Then on 8th july I saw this beautiful Boy. I’ve never seen somebody like him somebody so amazing. I was smiling all the time, just for him in the forlorn hope he would notice me and he did! The next day I wrote my best friend about this evening and I owe it to chance that she knew him.
When I added him he wrote me “You are the one smiling all evening, aren’t you?” I was so happy. I was writing with him and he was super cute. We got to know each other.
We met every saturday in the club everything was so fine. On 6th of july I was in the club again. Unfortunately I had to leave early and since I was sorry about that I gave him a kiss. Straight on his mouth. I don’t know what was riding me but I was afraid about what could happen next. Maybe he thought we were hooking up or something like this. But he wasn’t and he was mad because I thought in this way of him.
On 12th july was my last school day. I was totally happy because this evenings plan was going to club in the City this boy was living.
Me and my best friend went there and when we arrived in the club it was empty. But when we are in club nobody can stop us. We had lots of fun and this was also the first time we first kissed each other. It was so amazing. After club we went to a friend and he was playing Tekken and also kissing me. In front of his best friend. It felt so good. He told me he isn’t doing something like this, kissing girls in clubs taking pictures and so on. So much more I was happy about this all. I slept at his place and it was awesome.
Next days I was at my best friends house and we also went to my boy and the others. So my boy, K, and my best friend, V, planned to go to the beach. It was fun until V decided to meet with a boy and let me alone in a city where I hardly know somebody. So I had to hang out with K and this was completely out of my comfort zone. She promised me going with me in the club. Time with K was quite good but in my head there was V. I was texting her and she asked for just one more hour. I am not a bad friend so I agreed. When I later asked again she asked me to sleep at Ks again. And I did. But I was upset. She was so selfish.
But K and me got nearer. And this wasn’t bad. He was a nice guy and such a good lover. We met a lot and with him I had the best first date I ever had. Actually, it was my first first date. I’ve never had a real date before. We went to the open air cinema and watched ‘Django unchained’. It was such a good evening.
But then there was one of the worst evenings in world. V was at my house and we got the stupid Idea to drink a ‘little bit’ before clubbing but this went out of force. I was drunk. First time in my life. I didn’t knew what I was doing, or I can’t understand what I was doing. We went to BK and on the way I said “We are loving each other but we don’t want to admit.” And after that in club I was ignoring him. I lost a ‘good’ friend who was pulling my skirt so everybody could see my underwear and I hit him. After that I apologized for that and K saw this. He was very angry with me. When I was out of club he ignored me and said I could delete his number. I was writing him and begging him to forgive me.
And he did. The luck was on my side he said I could come to him and everything was good. Saturday he went to holidays.
Wednesday after that I went to holidays and we missed each other a lot. There was something between us, I had a crush on him. And he on me.
Sunday on 18th August we DTRed and became a couple.
But after that holiday there went a lot wrong, too. He took some photographs which weren't okay but me too.
There were such a lot of fights but we loved each other and this was clear.
In October I was one week at his place and he left me his tablet home. I was stupid enough to look through it and one day I saw a notification 'Person XY watched your profile'. It was a dating app. So I looked through it and I saw that he had written 11 pm to two girls. The haven't replied but I was really upset. When I asked him of he had written with some girls he said no. I asked if he wrote with some girls he said no. I asked if he had texted some girls he sweared he didn't. I was so mad that I decided to also break I swear I made, so I went with V to a Club, alone. He found out and he broke up with me. And then the worst time in my life begun.
We didn't came together for like a month but I was still at his place at weekends. He couldn't let me go, but he wanted to. So he slept with to girls I later found out. The worst of this was, that one weekend I was working Friday until 10 pm then went to him and the next day I went to work 10 am to 3 pm and after that I went again to his place. And in this time I wasn't there he slept wit this other girl. It hurt so much. I remember this so often. But we got a couple again.
